Kindred Insecurities
by Arewegroot
Summary: The Gems weren't doing this just to spite him. John still didn't have actual control over his powers, he didn't even know what his actual powers were yet. Emerald had said that there was a possibility that he would inherit his mother's trident considering he had her gem but they wouldn't be able to know for sure until John managed to turn on his gem. SUstuck (part of a series)


_**Hey so this is based off on ikiruma's SUstuck and it'll kind of be some sort of series. You can also read this on ao3 if you want**_

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The waves crashed softly against the shoreline, creating a soft lull that someone could fall asleep to if they had planned on taking a nap on the warm sand. It seemed like today

was a lazy Saturday afternoon with hardly anybody splashing in the water or walking up and down the boardwalk. It was peaceful, it was quite.

And John was bored out of his mind.

The Gems had left to deal with some kind of ancient artifact that could cause a massive earthquake on the other side of the world if they weren't able to get it back it its proper

place on some other ancient historical gem area, but as always John was stuck at home with nothing but his favorite Nic Cage movies to keep him company. He knew that the

Gems weren't doing this just to spite him. John still didn't have actual control over his powers, he didn't even know what his actual powers were yet. Emerald had said that there

was a possibility that he would inherit his mother's trident considering he had her gem but they wouldn't be able to know for sure until John managed to turn on his gem, his

mom's (Kyanite) gem.

"How do I get through one night without you-"

John turned off the t.v., not feeling up to watch Nic's movie daughter have a wonderful reuniting moment with her father. He let himself fall back onto his bed, bouncing a little in

the land, and just stayed there, staring at the ceiling...alone. He's been feeling that way a lot lately, alone. Which didn't make sense in the slightest, he had the Gems! They were

all wonderful and John absolutely loved them, Emerald would watch movies with him when the other two wouldn't, Rubellite would join him on his little pranking expeditions

around the town, and Topaz would help him learn about his gem and human heritage as much as he possibly could and let him watch him build his cool robots (whenever John got

the courage to ask)...but they still treated him differently, still looked at him weirdly.

John always noticed how Emerald would give him little side glances while they watched a movie or how his eyes would get teary eyed here and there when he looked at him. He

always caught that little sad nostalgic look that would come across Rubellite's face when one of their pranks would go right and then later stare at the wine cabinet that hadn't

been touched for years. How Topaz would twitch and stop working on a bot or stop explaining a lesson when he would ask questions or when his laugh sounded too similar to his

mother's. He understood those little moments because he knew that they missed her, Kyanite. But it got harder to ignore the little pang in his chest whenever they looked at him

and didn't see him.

He waited a couple more minutes to see if he would hear the familiar sound of the warp pad going off before he decided to leave the empty beach house.

 _ **Break/**_

The Gems were home when John had come back from hanging out with Jade and Rose, who were doing their shifts at the Big Donut.

When he had entered his house he was met with a Topaz messing with some wires and some sort of weird technology and a smiling Emerald petting a pink cat who he guessed to be Rubeillte.

"Welcome home John!" Emerald greeted him with a big smile. Emerald looked kinda like an older version of John. If he didn't know about his and alien way of being born and

alive, John would have thought they were related.

"Hey guys!" John greeted back. He walked over to the sofa where he took a seat next to Emerald and gladly started to massage Rubeillte's head after she had climbed onto his

lap. Rubeillte didn't usually look like a cat (but it was her most second common form she liked to take up). John usually saw her around the house as a tall pretty pink teen girl.

"How'd the mission go?"

"It went well." Topaz said settling the little widget he had been messing with down on the kitchen island. He was the most mysterious one out of the Gems. The orange gem

always had this stoic face on, and always looked so cool and collected. Out all three gems,Topaz was the one feared to let down and the one he wanted to impress the most.

"Where did you head off too? You didn't leave a note for us."

"Topaz got pretty worried!" Rubellite butted in, a teasing grin on her kitty face. John has always believed that the Cheshire Cat from that one Disney movie was based on Roxy.

Maybe she had played a prank on one of the animators while she was in her cat form. "We had to convince him not to go and destroy the whole town trying to look for you."

"Sorry Topaz, I was with Jade and Rose at the Big Donut." John said to Topaz, sounding apologetic because he really did feel bad. He knew how much the Gems worried about him

and he knew even with his cool guy act that Topaz worried the most. Which just proved that Topaz really did love him!

Well, that's what John likes to think.

"Just remember to leave a note next time, okay?" John saw Topaz innerly struggle with himself for a while before the orange gem crossed his arms and gave John a rare small. It

was small but it was there! It was totally there! "I'm glad you're back home."

John stared at the smile, mouth gaped, totally shocked. It didn't take him long to finally snap out of it and smile back at Topaz, buck teeth and all. A nice warmth started to

bloom from his chest and up to his cheeks. It happened frequently, so frequently that John had labeled the feeling.

He was pretty sure this is what it felt to feel loved.

"It's good to have you guys back home too!" John yelled out, loud and happy. Which caused all three active Gems to blink out of surprise before they all grinned back, their own

cheeks coloring.

As John sat there in between the Gems as they all listened intently to him recounting his day with Jade and Rose. That warm feeling in his chest and on his cheeks remained and

grew even stronger because John could tell that the Gems were really actually looking at him. They didn't have that cloudy look sometimes when all they could see was his

mom's ghost behind him.

All they saw was him, John Egbert.

Rubeillte and Emerald were reenacting their battle with some monster that they had ran into during their mission, Rubeillte was shaped shipped into the creature while was "GUNS

BLAZING" with his finger pistols, when John felt the couch dip next to him. He looked over to see that Topaz had left his bar stool and had decided to sit next to John. They looked

eyes, John's eyes confused and wide while Topaz's orange ones hide behind those anime shades, reading him.

John was close to being nervous when Topaz finally placed his hand on John's head and ruffled it gently, lovingly. That small smile back on his face.

'Yeah,' John thought to himself as he giggled to Topaz's ruffling. 'he loves me.'

'They all do.'

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 **Reviews are much appreciated!**


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